Step by Step (5th Sunday of Easter)

In the Gospel today, Jesus gave a new commandment, “love one another, as I have loved you.”  The apostles, in the first reading, were sharing a new direction in spreading the Good News: preaching to the Gentiles.  The second reading, from the Apocalypse of John, narrates the forming of a new Jerusalem.

Often, when we talk about new things, we think of throwing out with the old.  In fact, whenever there is spring cleaning to be done, I hear those helping me saying, “Throw these out!”  Yet for all the newness mentioned with in the readings today, it is not asking us to disregard the old altogether.  What is new is built upon the old.  The new commandment of Jesus is built upon an older commandment, “you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Lev 19:18)  Without an idea of what the old Jerusalem stood for, how could John recognise the new Jerusalem.  It could have been called by another name.  It was because he knew what the old original Jerusalem was that he recognised the new Jerusalem.

In any journey, we take a new step and leave the old behind.  However, the old should neither be forgotten nor destroyed.  I am sure that we have seen this before: children running up an escalator that is descending.  Every step we take to move up is hindered by the steps behind disappearing and in effect we are back on the first step.

Yes, we have to leave the old behind to move forward but we need also to remember that we have left it behind.  A love that is merciful will be forgiving.  Yet I am very wary of the axiom, “Forgive and forget.”  We should forgive and yet we should remember that we have forgiven.  St. Peter was forgiven  by Jesus.  Jesus did not mention the sin again.  However, he remembered that St. Peter needed to know he was forgiven.  It has been suggested that the three times Jesus questioned St. Peter in John 21 corresponded to the three times St. Peter had denied his Lord.  In the legend of St. Peter leaving Rome during the persecutions (the Quo vadis legend), Jesus told St. Peter that he was going back to Rome to be crucified again.  I am sure that although Jesus did not mention his sin, St. Peter remembered what he had done before.  By remembering his past, St. Peter was able to take up the courage to bear witness to his Lord by giving his life.  Jesus did forgive but I believe that He used what was remembered to fortify His Apostle.

So, I believe that we must leave behind the past, not allowing it to overwhelm us.  However, the other extreme of forgetting it totally would also be detrimental.  We must forgive and remember that we have forgiven.  We are forgiven and must remember that we are forgiven and loved.

Good Shepherd Sunday (4th Sunday of Easter)

Jesus tells us that His sheep listen to His voice and follow Him. We are His sheep.  While He is the Good Shepherd, are we good sheep?  Do we trust our Shepherd?

I know that one of the things that prevents me from trusting the Lord is my ego.  My ego will convince me that I know myself better than God knows me.  If I am so sure of my strengths and weaknesses, how could I trust the Lord who might be calling me to something that is beyond me?  I had assumed, when I had first sensed the call, that it was too difficult for me to enter the priestly or religious life.  I valued my independence too much and I knew it. How could I be able to keep the promise of obedience to the authority of the bishop?  I was eager to start a family of my own.  How could I begin to live the vow of celibacy?  I trusted much in my self knowledge so much that I could not trust that the Lord can grace me with the gifts of obedience and celibacy.  It was only when I was able to trust like sheep trust their shepherds that I was able to say "Yes" to the Lord.  My struggles with obedience and celibacy are struggles between my ego and my submission to God's grace. This I know: the Lord has never failed me; only I have failed the Lord.  Despite my failures, the Lord has neither condemned me nor abandoned me.

Of corse, proper discernment is needed in any consideration of one's vocation. Discernment is not merely Is God really calling me?  It is also Am I truly listening to the Lord and following Him?

My prayer this week will be that I will continue to be a good sheep to the Lord, the Good Shepherd. 

God’s call (3rd Sunday of Easter)

Despite all the other things found in John 21, this is the part that struck me today:

‘I tell you most solemnly,

when you were young

you put on your own belt

and walked where you liked;

but when you grow old

you will stretch out your hands,

and somebody else will put a belt round you

and take you where you would rather not go.’ (John 21:18, Jerusalem Bible)

When I think of my vocation, I identify with the words above.  In the beginning, when I was first discerning the call, I was full of fervour.  It was easy to follow the call, I wanted what God wanted. Thus, I was able to obey without condition.  Now as I grow older and some years into the priesthood, I find myself having the tendency to be cynical.  Is what the authority asking for what God wants?  In the end, obedience is just compliance — going where I rather not go.  Yet I have to keep struggling to change that from compliance to obedience.  Though I rather not go, I am going because I have to want what God wants.  In other words, I have to allow my heart to let God take the lead without any questions or conditions.  It is not easy.

In my conversations with young men thinking of the priestly vocation, I would occasionally meet one who feel that they are called to a specific way of life but their preferences get in the way.  I think I am being called to be a Benedictine but I don't really like singing in Latin.   [Okay, that is really lame, I admit.  I did not want to use the example of a religious congregation or order that exists in Singapore.]

I believe that we have to answer God’s call because that is what He wants of us.  In answering God’s call, we have to accept all that comes.  Religious congregations change the way they do things in time although the charisms remain the same.  Yet, if one slowly allows the heart to move from God’s will to one’s preference, then we will end up deciding to leave.  One should not be thinking about the situation or circumstances at the time when I first answered.  Rather, the focus should be on God who called me. That way, where we “would rather not go” becomes “where I am willing to be led to by God.”

Low Sunday: Witness

The skeptic among us would likely be nicknamed Doubting Thomas.  Yet St. Thomas the Apostle exonerated himself by being the first among the Apostles to call Jesus God in his acclamation, “My God and my Lord!” (John 20:28)  Jesus’ beatitude, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe,” implies that belief is based on the testimony of witnesses.  In this day and age, the beatitude refers to all of us who believe in the Risen Christ.  We have not seen, yet we believe.  How do we know what to believe?  We rely on the witness of the Gospels.  The Gospel and the scriptures show us what to believe.  Yet, we also rely on the witness of Christians who are still on earth.  Without a living person to tell us, the words in the Bible are simply words.  It is by the behaviour of people that we ask questions and search for truth.  This is what Pope Paul VI expressed in Evangelii Nuntiandi 21 (To see what he wrote, click here and scroll down to number 21).  Furthermore, as Christians, we are relied upon as witnesses for those who will come to believe.  The Samaritan woman at the well (see John 4) was definitely a witness to the people in the village but after experiencing Jesus himself, the villagers said, “It is no longer because of your words that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.” (John 4:42)  Like the Samaritans, we first believe because we were struck by someone who had been a witness.  As we enter into a relationship with Christ or with God, we gain experiences that show us that He is indeed real and that Christ is indeed alive.  Armed with that experience, we become witnesses ourselves.

That is the key for being a witness: we need to enter into a relationship with Him.  It has to be a real relationship.  Christ cannot be simply an acquaintance.  Christ cannot be someone we know about.  Christ must be a person we relate with.  That is why prayer is so important.  Prayer allows us to deepen our relationship with Christ.  With a solid relationship with Christ, we become witnesses in our daily Christian life.  The witness we give will begin to elicit queries.  Most of the time, it is informal and wordless.  There will be times, of course, when we would be asked to witness formally by giving testimonies.  However, these occasions are a result of the informal and wordless witness we give.  Let us pray during the week that we can become true witnesses, helping others to come to know Jesus.