Jesus tells us that His sheep listen to His voice and follow Him. We are His sheep. While He is the Good Shepherd, are we good sheep? Do we trust our Shepherd?
I know that one of the things that prevents me from trusting the Lord is my ego. My ego will convince me that I know myself better than God knows me. If I am so sure of my strengths and weaknesses, how could I trust the Lord who might be calling me to something that is beyond me? I had assumed, when I had first sensed the call, that it was too difficult for me to enter the priestly or religious life. I valued my independence too much and I knew it. How could I be able to keep the promise of obedience to the authority of the bishop? I was eager to start a family of my own. How could I begin to live the vow of celibacy? I trusted much in my self knowledge so much that I could not trust that the Lord can grace me with the gifts of obedience and celibacy. It was only when I was able to trust like sheep trust their shepherds that I was able to say "Yes" to the Lord. My struggles with obedience and celibacy are struggles between my ego and my submission to God's grace. This I know: the Lord has never failed me; only I have failed the Lord. Despite my failures, the Lord has neither condemned me nor abandoned me.
Of corse, proper discernment is needed in any consideration of one's vocation. Discernment is not merely Is God really calling me? It is also Am I truly listening to the Lord and following Him?
My prayer this week will be that I will continue to be a good sheep to the Lord, the Good Shepherd.
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