God’s call (3rd Sunday of Easter)

Despite all the other things found in John 21, this is the part that struck me today:

‘I tell you most solemnly,

when you were young

you put on your own belt

and walked where you liked;

but when you grow old

you will stretch out your hands,

and somebody else will put a belt round you

and take you where you would rather not go.’ (John 21:18, Jerusalem Bible)

When I think of my vocation, I identify with the words above.  In the beginning, when I was first discerning the call, I was full of fervour.  It was easy to follow the call, I wanted what God wanted. Thus, I was able to obey without condition.  Now as I grow older and some years into the priesthood, I find myself having the tendency to be cynical.  Is what the authority asking for what God wants?  In the end, obedience is just compliance — going where I rather not go.  Yet I have to keep struggling to change that from compliance to obedience.  Though I rather not go, I am going because I have to want what God wants.  In other words, I have to allow my heart to let God take the lead without any questions or conditions.  It is not easy.

In my conversations with young men thinking of the priestly vocation, I would occasionally meet one who feel that they are called to a specific way of life but their preferences get in the way.  I think I am being called to be a Benedictine but I don't really like singing in Latin.   [Okay, that is really lame, I admit.  I did not want to use the example of a religious congregation or order that exists in Singapore.]

I believe that we have to answer God’s call because that is what He wants of us.  In answering God’s call, we have to accept all that comes.  Religious congregations change the way they do things in time although the charisms remain the same.  Yet, if one slowly allows the heart to move from God’s will to one’s preference, then we will end up deciding to leave.  One should not be thinking about the situation or circumstances at the time when I first answered.  Rather, the focus should be on God who called me. That way, where we “would rather not go” becomes “where I am willing to be led to by God.”