Good Shepherd Sunday (4th Sunday of Easter)

Jesus tells us that His sheep listen to His voice and follow Him. We are His sheep.  While He is the Good Shepherd, are we good sheep?  Do we trust our Shepherd?

I know that one of the things that prevents me from trusting the Lord is my ego.  My ego will convince me that I know myself better than God knows me.  If I am so sure of my strengths and weaknesses, how could I trust the Lord who might be calling me to something that is beyond me?  I had assumed, when I had first sensed the call, that it was too difficult for me to enter the priestly or religious life.  I valued my independence too much and I knew it. How could I be able to keep the promise of obedience to the authority of the bishop?  I was eager to start a family of my own.  How could I begin to live the vow of celibacy?  I trusted much in my self knowledge so much that I could not trust that the Lord can grace me with the gifts of obedience and celibacy.  It was only when I was able to trust like sheep trust their shepherds that I was able to say "Yes" to the Lord.  My struggles with obedience and celibacy are struggles between my ego and my submission to God's grace. This I know: the Lord has never failed me; only I have failed the Lord.  Despite my failures, the Lord has neither condemned me nor abandoned me.

Of corse, proper discernment is needed in any consideration of one's vocation. Discernment is not merely Is God really calling me?  It is also Am I truly listening to the Lord and following Him?

My prayer this week will be that I will continue to be a good sheep to the Lord, the Good Shepherd. 

God’s call (3rd Sunday of Easter)

Despite all the other things found in John 21, this is the part that struck me today:

‘I tell you most solemnly,

when you were young

you put on your own belt

and walked where you liked;

but when you grow old

you will stretch out your hands,

and somebody else will put a belt round you

and take you where you would rather not go.’ (John 21:18, Jerusalem Bible)

When I think of my vocation, I identify with the words above.  In the beginning, when I was first discerning the call, I was full of fervour.  It was easy to follow the call, I wanted what God wanted. Thus, I was able to obey without condition.  Now as I grow older and some years into the priesthood, I find myself having the tendency to be cynical.  Is what the authority asking for what God wants?  In the end, obedience is just compliance — going where I rather not go.  Yet I have to keep struggling to change that from compliance to obedience.  Though I rather not go, I am going because I have to want what God wants.  In other words, I have to allow my heart to let God take the lead without any questions or conditions.  It is not easy.

In my conversations with young men thinking of the priestly vocation, I would occasionally meet one who feel that they are called to a specific way of life but their preferences get in the way.  I think I am being called to be a Benedictine but I don't really like singing in Latin.   [Okay, that is really lame, I admit.  I did not want to use the example of a religious congregation or order that exists in Singapore.]

I believe that we have to answer God’s call because that is what He wants of us.  In answering God’s call, we have to accept all that comes.  Religious congregations change the way they do things in time although the charisms remain the same.  Yet, if one slowly allows the heart to move from God’s will to one’s preference, then we will end up deciding to leave.  One should not be thinking about the situation or circumstances at the time when I first answered.  Rather, the focus should be on God who called me. That way, where we “would rather not go” becomes “where I am willing to be led to by God.”

Low Sunday: Witness

The skeptic among us would likely be nicknamed Doubting Thomas.  Yet St. Thomas the Apostle exonerated himself by being the first among the Apostles to call Jesus God in his acclamation, “My God and my Lord!” (John 20:28)  Jesus’ beatitude, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe,” implies that belief is based on the testimony of witnesses.  In this day and age, the beatitude refers to all of us who believe in the Risen Christ.  We have not seen, yet we believe.  How do we know what to believe?  We rely on the witness of the Gospels.  The Gospel and the scriptures show us what to believe.  Yet, we also rely on the witness of Christians who are still on earth.  Without a living person to tell us, the words in the Bible are simply words.  It is by the behaviour of people that we ask questions and search for truth.  This is what Pope Paul VI expressed in Evangelii Nuntiandi 21 (To see what he wrote, click here and scroll down to number 21).  Furthermore, as Christians, we are relied upon as witnesses for those who will come to believe.  The Samaritan woman at the well (see John 4) was definitely a witness to the people in the village but after experiencing Jesus himself, the villagers said, “It is no longer because of your words that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.” (John 4:42)  Like the Samaritans, we first believe because we were struck by someone who had been a witness.  As we enter into a relationship with Christ or with God, we gain experiences that show us that He is indeed real and that Christ is indeed alive.  Armed with that experience, we become witnesses ourselves.

That is the key for being a witness: we need to enter into a relationship with Him.  It has to be a real relationship.  Christ cannot be simply an acquaintance.  Christ cannot be someone we know about.  Christ must be a person we relate with.  That is why prayer is so important.  Prayer allows us to deepen our relationship with Christ.  With a solid relationship with Christ, we become witnesses in our daily Christian life.  The witness we give will begin to elicit queries.  Most of the time, it is informal and wordless.  There will be times, of course, when we would be asked to witness formally by giving testimonies.  However, these occasions are a result of the informal and wordless witness we give.  Let us pray during the week that we can become true witnesses, helping others to come to know Jesus.

Blessed Easter!!

My apologies for not posting anything this week.  I was left very tired after all the services during the Holy Triduum.  Just a picture below from Wikimedia Commons of a liturgical celebration in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem.  The Easter experience brought forth the Christian faith community.  That’s where it all started: at the tomb or sepulchre of the crucified Jesus.

When a Palm is not a Palm

This year, the parish was supplying real palms for Palm Sunday.  The so-called palms used when I was first baptised were actually not palms but cycads.  Cycads are seed plants that do not have flowers.  Palms are seed plants that have flowers.  Cycads are closer to conifers than to the coconut trees.  Yet, in Singapore, people prefer cycad leaves because they are hard and keep longer than the young and supple palm leaves that we had used in the parish this year.  When I was younger, I was quite upset that we use leaves that are obviously not palms during Palm Sunday.  It was only when I studied in Rome that I realised that Singapore was more privileged than our brothers and sisters in Italy.  In Italy, young olive branches are used during Palm Sunday.  Palms are not readily available there.

A Cycad Plant

A Palm Plant

The problem I had was that I was concerned with the wrong details regarding Palm Sunday.  In the Missal, the title for the Liturgy on Palm Sunday is “Palm Sunday of the Passion of the Lord.”  What is really important is that we are celebrating the Lord’s entry into Jerusalem with a view of His Passion.  Jesus entered into Jerusalem triumphant, yet knowing that there was a Passion waiting for Him.  Jesus’ conviction of His mission was not due to a simple human courage.  He was able to enter Jerusalem because He totally loved His Father and nothing could prevent Him from obeying His Father, not even death.  As we read in the Passion Narrative that forms a significant part of the Liturgy, Jesus was afraid.  Despite His fear, He was determined to do His Father's will.  Jesus is thus an example to us of Christian moral courage: we act due to the fact that we want to do the Father's will, that we love the Father by obeying Him.  For example, when we give alms, are we doing it because it is expected of us, or because we want to love the Father through loving the brothers and sisters in our midst?

The same people that waved palm leaves to welcome Jesus into Jerusalem became the ones that would later shouted “Crucify him!” Are we like them?  Let us pray that the love and grace that God gives us would lead us to be more like Jesus than to those who called Him King on one day and condemned Him on another.

Joy in Mercy

I did a meditation years ago on the episode of Jesus confronting the crowd with the woman caught committing adultery in John 8:1-11.  I have still not forgotten what happened at the end of that meditation.  I was filled with a joy that I had never felt before.

When one considers the feelings of the woman, perhaps we can begin to realise the joy she felt when Jesus uttered the words, “neither do I condemn you.”  After all, she was probably terrified when she was dragged out of the place where she was caught.  Where was her partner in crime?  Either he had run off, leaving her alone, or he was let off as she was hauled away.  For the former, she must have been extremely disappointed.  He cared only for himself and not for her.  For the latter, she must have been feeling confused.  She could not understand why her captors, who were from the law-abiding sector of Jewish society would take only her.  Then, to her horror, she was dragged into the temple where everyone was.  Her sin would be made public.  Further terror awaited her as she saw that they were leading her to Jesus, this great teacher, whom some people call a prophet.  She was not innocent, she knew.  How could this person not convict her of her sin?

Yet, it was this teacher that would forgive her and give her inner joy.   The teacher had asked that the first person to throw a stone was one who had no sin.  The usually self-righteous Pharisees and scribes moved away one by one.  Then he had looked up and saw no one.  He asked if no one had condemned her.  He took the decision of the majority: He would not condemn her as well.  However, he did acknowledge that she had sinned.  He said, “…and do not sin again.”  A few simple words but powerful ones because he acknowledged that she was not innocent.  She was forgiven, not exonerated.

The feeling that I identified with at the end of that meditation was joy.  I understood it to be joy but not a joy due to relief.  It was a joy that came when one was valued as a human being.  One was not rendered worthless by sin but that by mercy, one’s life had value in a dignity restored.  

Envious of the Prodigal?

I have often asked myself which character I feel the most affinity to in the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Lk 15:11-32).  I wish I could say the father, but I know that I can never measure up to the standard that Jesus had set in the character of the Father.  After all, who can measure up to the mercy of God Himself?!  So, I was left with two: the older son and the younger son.  I am the oldest among my brothers and so there are times I can understand how the elder brother in the parable felt.  However, except for my earliest memories (of which I have very little recall), I do not think I had ever felt jealous of my younger brothers.  Being selfish or stingy was strictly frowned upon as far as I can remember.  There was sibling rivalry but not so much for our parents’ attention.  We had rows over which channel to watch on TV (all rather quiet, of course, for the times when the row was discovered, the television set had stayed switched off), who had higher marks, could run faster, among other things.  Did I have times when I resented having a brother?  I can recall once, when I was probably five years old?  We each had a toy Boeing plane with lights that blinked at the engines of the aeroplane.  My brother, three that time, had plucked out the lights of his plane and his interest gravitated towards mine who still had the lights blinking.  I still remember both my parents telling me to share.  No prizes for knowing what happened next: the lights on my toy aeroplane had their lights plucked out as well.  I was angry with my parents and with my brother.  That feeling was so great that I still remember the incident.  Am I still angry?  I go to my younger brothers for advice without a second thought now.

(You can see a YouTube video of a similar toy here.  It is an advertisement, so I cannot embed it here.)

So, what about the Prodigal Son?  I believe we take on both roles.  When we take on the role of the elder son, we become the envious and self-righteous one.  When we realise that we have been envious and self-righteous, we need to take a step back and look honestly at our lives.  Jesus had said, “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Mt. 7:3)  I believe that this applies for good and bad things.  Why do you see the one speck of good that your brother has that you do not have, and do not notice the log of good that God has given in your life?  We tend to focus on the ills, the bad experiences and the things we lack in our life.  Knowing the above can motivate us to better our lives but focussing on them without the balance of the blessings, good experiences and things we already have, can cause us to have a really warped view of life.  Furthermore, if we confuse needs with wants, the situation becomes worse.  Do you think that God allowed the smart phone to be invented so that it can become something we cannot do without?  The smart phone is usually a want and seldom a real need.  I know of one person who has survived till today without ever having the need to use WhatsApp.  God allowed the smart phone to be invented to help us make life easier but not to take His place in our lives.

Thus, let us take a step back and look honestly at our lives.  Balance the good with the bad, distinguish between what is really a need and what is simply a want or desire, and then, consider if the Lord really has a few selected favourites.  We will be very surprised to see that while he treats each person differently, each of us is special in His eyes because He created each of us unique.